However, in the very next chapter, with Jacob running for his life from his enraged brother, we read about the deceiver's dream. In it he sees angels ascending and descending a ladder to heaven, and the Lord God standing above it. In the midst of this, God speaks. Amazingly, He not only does not pronounce judgement on Jacob for his sinful ways, He instead shows mercy to him by promising to bless him - reminiscent of the promise He gave Jacob's grandfather, Abraham. This included the blessing of land (28:13) and descendants (v.14), as well as the announcement that in him and his descendants, all the families of the earth would be blessed. God would now make Jacob, the one who sought to be blessed, a blessing to others.
Pastor went on to say that we too often make the same mistake. We're seeking a blessing, when we should be seeking to be a blessing. How true this is! The paradox is that when we become a blessing to other people, we also help ourselves. We feel good about it. In a greater sense, we get to join the Lord in the work that He's doing around the world.
All this got me to thinking. I've seen this happen in my own life. What came to mind was my work in post-abortion ministry. While the Lord did an incredible healing work in me regarding my abortion, I could have decided to keep that to myself. I could have said, "Thanks for the blessing Lord," and went on my merry way. But then I would have missed out on so much more. Instead, through leading Bible studies for post-abortive women, God has allowed me to witness His work in their lives too. So then, in being a blessing to others, I myself have been blessed beyond measure!
Let me give you an example. During one of the earlier studies Caroline and I led, three women had joined us. However, one of the women was a problem. You see, in the first meeting we would always explain the "ground rules" for the group. One rule was that group members had to refrain from using foul language. Brenda, for some reason, couldn't remember that. By the third week, between her swearing and bitter attitude that put everyone on guard, Caroline and I began considering what we should do. We could take Brenda aside and give her a warning, but would that alienate her? On the other hand, if we did nothing would it hinder the other two? After praying about it we felt that we should call her during the week and gently say something. Much to our relief she received what we said and promised to behave differently at the next study. She kept her word. She also worked hard at the homework and became a real asset to our group. God began to move in her life - in a BIG way!
Incredibly, just a few months prior to the Bible study, Brenda's fiance had been murdered. The pain and anguish of that, coupled with the fact that she was dealing with her abortion for the first time in twenty-five years, meant that it was a brutal time for her. The day for her would-be wedding came and went during our study. The man who had killed Ron was in jail and awaiting trial. But God was at work in Brenda's heart and she came to see that she needed a Savior. She repented and asked Christ into her life. What an absolutely amazing change took place in that woman! Even her physical appearance was transformed. It was as if her whole countenance softened and grief, once etched into the lines on her face, was replaced by a calm peace. She looked years younger.
I rejoice even now as I think about it. But that's not the end of the story! Well, as I mentioned before, the guy that murdered her fiance was in jail. Her previous hatred for him had been intense; but equally intense was the work God was doing in her. One day she called and told me that she felt like God was telling her to go visit this man and share what He had done in her life. Wow - I was blown away! That would be a big step even for a mature Christian. However, her mind was made up so she jumped in and never looked back. She took a Bible to him. She prayed with him. He became her ministry and so did everyone else around her. The transformation in her was so inspiring that it blessed me way beyond the simple seeds I had sown into her life.
About a year after the group ended I got another call. This time she was phoning to tell me that she had met a wonderful Christian man at church. They were getting married. When I had the privilege of meeting him I could see the love between them and their shared commitment to Christ - another blessing added to my cup!
Settled into life with her new husband, she soon got in touch again to let me know that she had been speaking in churches, sharing her testimony. As a result, she and another lady were starting a post-abortion Bible study in their own area. I was totally thrilled! It felt like God had poured out, through just this one lady, blessing after blessing upon me simply because I had obeyed when He asked me to help others. That one decision to be a blessing multiplied into abundant fruit. It affected others' lives beyond what I could ever have imagined. Praise the Lord!
So before drifting off last night I thought again about Brenda - and I thought about the man lying next to me. What about that situation? I could have chosen a different way last summer. He cheated on me. I had a "Biblical" out of the marriage if I wanted. But what did God want? Friend, if you find yourself in a difficult circumstance right now, what does God want from you?
One morning (I still remember the moment well) I just knew. I knew that God wanted me to love my husband unconditionally. To leave the outcome to Him. "Love never fails, my daughter," He whispered. Then He gave me the strength to be a blessing to one who didn't deserve it. But come to think of it, I didn't "deserve" His blessing either! None of us do. We are just blessed anyway. The overwhelming realization of that makes me want to love like He loves; to be a conduit of His love - a blessing.
I don't know what you might be going through right now. Life is painful at times. It's hard and it hurts. However, at the heart of all your trials is a God who filters each of those circumstances through the goodness of His mercy and purposes. Will you believe that? I encourage you to trust Him in this. Don't seek His blessing - seek Him. Every heartache I've been through God has redeemed, but not without me dying a little more to myself each time. It is His work. He is making me a blessing through those dark seasons - now won't you allow Him to do that in you?
"For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
Philippians 2:13
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