Praying to End Abortion Prayer Guide

"If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

Hi everyone! For just this post I'd like to switch gears and focus on something near and dear to my heart - and more importantly, the heart of God. Ladies, it's crucial that we be praying and standing against the powers of darkness over our land that have given us this present "culture of death." I am speaking about abortion today. I am speaking about the tragedy of roughly 50 million children who have been killed behind clinic doors since the legalization of abortion in 1973.

Please, don't turn a blind eye to this! Please consider getting involved. Right now I am excited to tell you about a way you can do this. In just a little over a week, another "40 Days for Life" Campaign will begin and will be from March 9 - April 17. If you haven't heard of this effort, let me tell you a little more. From their website here are their vision and mission statements:

"40 Days for Life is a focused pro-life campaign with a vision to access God’s power through prayer, fasting, and peaceful vigil to end abortion in America.

The mission of the campaign is to bring together the body of Christ in a spirit of unity during a focused 40 day campaign of prayer, fasting, and peaceful activism, with the purpose of repentance, to seek God’s favor to turn hearts and minds from a culture of death to a culture of life, thus bringing an end to abortion in America."

Since its beginning in 2007, there have been seven coordinated 40 Days for Life campaigns which have taken place in 337 cities across all 50 of the United States, 7 Canadian providences, 4 Australian states, plus England, Northern Ireland, and Denmark. And the momentum is building! They're anticipating the next campaign to be the largest international campaign yet, with more people and countries participating than ever! The results from the threefold mission of prayer, fasting, and peaceful vigils, have been incredible. They have given pro-life people renewed hope and courage.

For more information, including how to get involved, please go to their website at: http://www.40daysforlife.com/

Anyway, I was just thrilled to tell you about this in case you didn't know what's going to be happening soon - all across the globe! I hadn't heard of 40 Days myself until recently when the head of our church's mission committee asked me to check it out and tell her what I think. After looking at their website and reading about it I told her I felt it was a great idea. Really in line with the heart of God.


However, I also felt, as a post-abortive woman, that our church needed a tool for people to know what to pray and, hence, a prayer guide. But I couldn't just have it be for our church - so I'm killing two birds with one stone by posting it here as well! 


I don't know about you, but I get really excited when I think about being "united in spirit and intent on one purpose" (Philippians 2:2) with believers from all over the world! Therefore, even if you're not going to participate in a 40 Days for Life campaign, I hope you'll still consider joining us in prayer during that time. Together we can lift our voices before the Lord and plead for the lives of unborn children, and for their mothers and fathers. 


Perhaps you could dedicate an entire 24 hour period to earnestly praying throughout the day about this issue. Or commit an uninterrupted hour to seeking God. Whatever way you feel led, remember that you can make a difference by standing in the gap through prayer! Before I get to the guide I want to share the following video that shows the amazing power of prayer. It features a lady named Abby Johnson, Planned Parenthood's Employee of the Year 2008, whose heart and mind were changed during the 40 Day prayer vigil that took place outside the clinic where she was director in 2009. It's absolutely incredible what God did. Watch and I think you'll agree and be blessed!

Prayers for 40 Days of Life

1. Begin with praising God and thanking Him for the gift of life (1 Corinthians 15:45; John 5:21) The Psalms are a great place to begin searching for words of worship and praise. Although too numerous to list, here are some good ones: Psalm 9, 24, 34, 36:5-12, 48, 66, 68, 84, 89, 90, 92, 95, 96, 103, 138, & 145. Perhaps you'll find a few that you like even better. Just don't overlook this opportunity to tell God how awesome and mighty He is!

2. Pray for women in your community and abroad who are considering abortion at this moment. Ask God to remove all ungodly influence and deception in their lives, and instead give them eyes to see the truth about the personhood of their unborn child. Pray that these women would love and cherish their children. Ask that He minister to each woman, helping her to deal with her emotions and not "listen" to them, but do what is right. Especially ask God to remove all fear and give them the moral courage to carry their babies to term.

3. Ask God to bring people who will "speak the truth in love" (Ephesians 4:15) into each woman's life and show her they care. 

4. In this endeavor of showing care to women considering abortions, as well as those choosing to give birth, ask God to help the Pregnancy Care Center in your area, and those nationwide, to carry out their work of mercy. Pray that God would supply all the needs of these ministries. (Philippians 4:19)

5. Pray that as unborn children are saved from abortion, they would be properly cared for and nurtured when they are born. Ask God to give the mothers courage to place their babies for adoption if they are unable to care for them themselves. Also pray that the Lord would bring the right couples into the mothers' lives to adopt and parent their children.

6. Remember to pray for the fathers of these babies as well. Ask the Lord to restore to their hearts the God-given desire to protect their children. Additionally, pray that God would turn the hearts of these fathers toward their children. (Malachi 4:6)

7. Pray for the abortion clinic workers. Ask God to remove the blinders from their eyes, and see the evil they are doing. Ask God to "remove the heart of stone from (their) flesh and give (them) a heart of flesh." (Ezekiel 36:26) Pray that the truth would so shake them that they would quit their jobs and leave the abortion industry.

8. Pray also specifically for the abortion doctors. Ask God that He would grant them godly sorrow leading to repentance, and repentance leading to the acknowledging of the truth, so that they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. (2 Corinthians 7:10; 2 Timothy 2:26)

9. Ask God to grant salvation to the mothers, fathers, abortion clinic workers, and doctors. Ask God to "open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in (Him)." (Acts 26:18)

10. Pray for those who are involved in supporting the practice of abortion: Activists, lobbyists, and politicians. Ask God to shed the light of His truth upon their hearts and that they would become convicted of their behavior. Ask God to grant that they would not be "wise in (their) own eyes, (but) fear the Lord, and turn away from evil." (Proverbs 3:7)

11. Ask the Lord to help those women who have had abortions to find healing and forgiveness through Him. (Isaiah 61:3) Then ask Him to move on their hearts to speak out against this atrocity. Pray that, as the Lord leads, they would feel an obligation to share the truth as only they can. Ask that their fear, shame, and guilt would be taken away and they would be given courage and grace. 

12. On a local and national level, ask the Lord's help and protection for those fighting for life through grass-roots and legislative means. Ask God to grant them success as they honor His Word and principles. Pray for unity and that they would be "of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, (and) intent on one purpose." (Philippians 2:2) Also ask that if they should engage with those who, at this time, support abortion, that their speech toward them would be "with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that (they) will know how (they) should respond to each person." (Colossians 4:6)

13. Where politicians have turned a deaf ear to their constituents regarding pro-life legislation, ask God to cause them to now heed the voices of those constituents. Pray that they would remember that they are in our state and federal governments to represent the will of the people.

14. Ask God for hearts and minds throughout our country to be changed and renewed. Additionally, pray that He would send His Holy Spirit to bring revival to a land that desperately needs it, and that many would come to know Christ as Savior. Acknowledge that we, as a nation, have greatly sinned and offended Him (including the shedding of innocent blood), but we're now humbly asking for mercy. Tell Him that we know judgment must begin with the household of God (1Peter 4:17) and we invite that to happen. Ask Him to cleanse and heal us as a Church first, and then as a nation.

15. Ask God to make pastors and spiritual leaders stand firm and steadfast in speaking the truth about abortion. Pray that if there be a spirit of complacency or indifference in any of them, He would remove this and give them a passion for saving the lives of the unborn. Along with this, ask that God would grant them courage and that they would fear God rather than man.

16. Ask the Lord to help us to be diligent in praying for and supporting our pastors, spiritual leaders, and ministry leaders as they take their stand to end abortion and support life. 

17. Pray that we as Christians would not just focus on fighting against abortion, but would also find creative ways to proactively support life. Ask God to open our eyes and show us how we can reach out to single mothers, adopting couples, elderly people and others who need our help. Pray that God would put specific individuals on our hearts.

18. Ask God to make us diligent to teach our children the truth. Pray that we would demonstrate by example a respect for all life and a willingness to defend it. (Luke 6:40)

19. Ask God to show you if He wants you to become more involved in this fight to protect and save unborn children from death. If you sense that He does, ask Him to clearly reveal in what way. Finally, pray that you may serve Him with the strength He supplies so that He may be glorified through it. (1 Peter 4:11)

20. Finally, pray first for specific clinics in your area, and then throughout our nation, to be closed. Ask God to do whatever it takes, and that He would no longer allow them to perpetuate evil. Tell God that we acknowledge they are altars to a false god and the idolatry of this age. Ask Him to cut them them off as He did the remnant of Baal in the days of old. (Zephaniah 1:4)


Praise God for this opportunity to join with other believers in this 40 Days of Life. Ask Him to put His hand of blessing upon us and prosper our efforts. Plead that our own hearts would be changed, and hope renewed, through this time of prayer.

___________________________________

Certainly this list of prayer items is not complete. Please pray as the Spirit of God leads. Furthermore, consider fasting while you pray as a means of setting aside earthly cares and earnestly focusing on worshiping and petitioning the Lord. If you need encouragement from the Bible, look to the Book of Esther. This story, in fact, is a remarkable example of results obtained through fasting and prayer. It demonstrates the dynamic power of collective and personal fasting during matters of national importance, and would be a blessing to reread and study at this time.

It's been good for me to focus on abortion for a time. It's given me reawakened zeal to see it end and post-abortive women forgiven and set free. Thanks so much for stopping by! I have a busy week ahead but I hope to soon finish the Identifying & Overcoming the Obstacles to Healing series with the fourth and final 'D' word. Specifically, that post will address the issue facing many betrayed spouses of Where Do We Go from Here? Then we will explore some ways we may equip ourselves for a brighter future. So I hope you will join me right back here next time! Until then, may "The LORD bless you, and keep you; The LORD make His face shine on you, And be gracious to you." (Numbers 6:25)

Seeking to be Blessed, or to be a Blessing?

Sunday morning my pastor had some challenging words that reminded me of things I've experienced in my own life. He was discussing Genesis chapter 27 where the members of Isaac's family were all obsessed with getting the blessing. Rebekah stooped to using deception against her husband to obtain the blessing for Jacob, her favorite son; while Esau, upon learning that it had been stolen from him, cried out to his father to bless him anyway. "Bless me, even me also, O my father!" (Genesis 27:34)

However, in the very next chapter, with Jacob running for his life from his enraged brother, we read about the deceiver's dream. In it he sees angels ascending and descending a ladder to heaven, and the Lord God standing above it. In the midst of this, God speaks. Amazingly, He not only does not pronounce judgement on Jacob for his sinful ways, He instead shows mercy to him by promising to bless him - reminiscent of the promise He gave Jacob's grandfather, Abraham. This included the blessing of land (28:13) and descendants (v.14), as well as the announcement that in him and his descendants, all the families of the earth would be blessed. God would now make Jacob, the one who sought to be blessed, a blessing to others.

Pastor went on to say that we too often make the same mistake. We're seeking a blessing, when we should be seeking to be a blessing. How true this is! The paradox is that when we become a blessing to other people, we also help ourselves. We feel good about it. In a greater sense, we get to join the Lord in the work that He's doing around the world. 

All this got me to thinking. I've seen this happen in my own life. What came to mind was my work in post-abortion ministry. While the Lord did an incredible healing work in me regarding my abortion, I could have decided to keep that to myself. I could have said, "Thanks for the blessing Lord," and went on my merry way. But then I would have missed out on so much more. Instead, through leading Bible studies for post-abortive women, God has allowed me to witness His work in their lives too. So then, in being a blessing to others, I myself have been blessed beyond measure!

Let me give you an example. During one of the earlier studies Caroline and I led, three women had joined us. However, one of the women was a problem. You see, in the first meeting we would always explain the "ground rules" for the group. One rule was that group members had to refrain from using foul language. Brenda, for some reason, couldn't remember that. By the third week, between her swearing and bitter attitude that put everyone on guard, Caroline and I began considering what we should do. We could take Brenda aside and give her a warning, but would that alienate her? On the other hand, if we did nothing would it hinder the other two? After praying about it we felt that we should call her during the week and gently say something. Much to our relief she received what we said and promised to behave differently at the next study. She kept her word. She also worked hard at the homework and became a real asset to our group. God began to move in her life - in a BIG way!

Incredibly, just a few months prior to the Bible study, Brenda's fiance had been murdered. The pain and anguish of that, coupled with the fact that she was dealing with her abortion for the first time in twenty-five years, meant that it was a brutal time for her. The day for her would-be wedding came and went during our study. The man who had killed Ron was in jail and awaiting trial. But God was at work in Brenda's heart and she came to see that she needed a Savior. She repented and asked Christ into her life. What an absolutely amazing change took place in that woman! Even her physical appearance was transformed. It was as if her whole countenance softened and grief, once etched into the lines on her face, was replaced by a calm peace. She looked years younger.

I rejoice even now as I think about it. But that's not the end of the story! Well, as I mentioned before, the guy that murdered her fiance was in jail. Her previous hatred for him had been intense; but equally intense was the work God was doing in her. One day she called and told me that she felt like God was telling her to go visit this man and share what He had done in her life. Wow - I was blown away! That would be a big step even for a mature Christian. However, her mind was made up so she jumped in and never looked back. She took a Bible to him. She prayed with him. He became her ministry and so did everyone else around her. The transformation in her was so inspiring that it blessed me way beyond the simple seeds I had sown into her life.

About a year after the group ended I got another call. This time she was phoning to tell me that she had met a wonderful Christian man at church. They were getting married. When I had the privilege of meeting him I could see the love between them and their shared commitment to Christ - another blessing added to my cup! 

Settled into life with her new husband, she soon got in touch again to let me know that she had been speaking in churches, sharing her testimony. As a result, she and another lady were starting a post-abortion Bible study in their own area. I was totally thrilled! It felt like God had poured out, through just this one lady, blessing after blessing upon me simply because I had obeyed when He asked me to help others. That one decision to be a blessing multiplied into abundant fruit. It affected others' lives beyond what I could ever have imagined. Praise the Lord!

So before drifting off last night I thought again about Brenda - and I thought about the man lying next to me. What about that situation? I could have chosen a different way last summer. He cheated on me. I had a "Biblical" out of the marriage if I wanted. But what did God want? Friend, if you find yourself in a difficult circumstance right now, what does God want from you?

One morning (I still remember the moment well) I just knew. I knew that God wanted me to love my husband unconditionally. To leave the outcome to Him. "Love never fails, my daughter," He whispered. Then He gave me the strength to be a blessing to one who didn't deserve it. But come to think of it, I didn't "deserve" His blessing either! None of us do. We are just blessed anyway. The overwhelming realization of that makes me want to love like He loves; to be a conduit of His love - a blessing.

I don't know what you might be going through right now. Life is painful at times. It's hard and it hurts. However, at the heart of all your trials is a God who filters each of those circumstances through the goodness of His mercy and purposes. Will you believe that? I encourage you to trust Him in this. Don't seek His blessing - seek Him. Every heartache I've been through God has redeemed, but not without me dying a little more to myself each time. It is His work. He is making me a blessing through those dark seasons - now won't you allow Him to do that in you?

"For it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure."
Philippians 2:13

My Abortion Story, Part 3 - Set Free

Allow me to start this last section of my story by telling you that there truly is hope for every woman out there who has had an abortion. It doesn't matter who you are or where you've been. Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and He will set anyone free who wants it! He said in John 8:32 (the first verse I memorized after becoming a Christian), "...You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free." So before you get to my story below, check out this video by my favorite Christian band, Casting Crowns. The song is called "Every Man" and recently I noticed the wonderful lyrics that relate to post-abortive women. It says, "I am the woman shamed and haunted by the cry of unborn life," no doubt referring to a woman who's aching with regret over her decision to abort; but at the end of the song it has the life-giving, encouraging words, "There is hope for every man, A solid place where we can stand, In this dry and weary land, There is hope for every man.  There is love that never dies, There is peace in troubled times, Will we help them understand, Jesus is hope for every man."

Casting Crowns - Every Man from Casting Crowns on Vimeo.

Fast forward seven years. It was 1994. I was now married and my first child was just over a year old. The little town where we lived was having its annual festival and I was excited to put him in his stroller, walk around and take in the events.


During the course of the day I ran into many people I knew. Glancing up at one point I saw a lady I was acquainted with because I had designed the brochure for the crisis pregnancy center where she was director. With a warm smile she came over to say "hi." While we chatted, she began telling me that the Lord had something new for her and she was resigning her position at the center.


At first, I didn't think too much of it. Then I got that strange, tingly feeling. Soon I had the distinct impression that this meeting was a "God thing." She was telling me that they needed to find a new director. I was dumbfounded. I wondered why it felt like God was nudging me! I wasn't looking for a job. I was a stay-at-home mom. Besides, I didn't qualify to be the director of anything. I was wrestling through all this inwardly while she was talking. And then the question came to my mind - unbidden - What's today's date?


"Oh NO!"  My thoughts tumbled around in my head as I tried to be sure. It was May 16. "Oh yes, child, it's that date," the gentle Voice said. The anniversary date of my abortion. The lady, Barb, unaware of the conflict raging inside my head, suddenly asked, "Do you think you'd be interested? I think you would do a great job." Looking at me intently, she waited for my response. "Um yes, I think I would be interested," I heard myself say. Unable to shake the feeling that this was a divine appointment, I agreed to fill out an application and submit my resume.


Two months later, as the new Executive Director of our local crisis pregnancy center, Barb was working with me to train me in. Up until that point, other than the people directly involved in my abortion, my husband was the only one who knew about it. However, now Barb and the Board members of the center also knew. Well, what was I supposed to do? Lie? It had been a question on the application. "Have you ever had an abortion or advised someone else to have one?" YES on both accounts! Hopefully they won't hold that against me I had thought. After all, that was before I was a Christian. On this particular afternoon though it was on Barb's mind and she asked me a pointed question: "Have you gotten healing for your abortion?"


So I told her the truth. That I had specifically repented of it when I got saved, but beyond that I hadn't given it much thought. And that was the truth - I really hadn't given it much thought because I didn't want to think about it. It was too painful. Much too painful. 


Walking into the second room of our offices, she pulled a book off the shelf, handed it to me and asked if I would be willing to let her go through it with me. It was called, "Forgiven and Set Free" by Linda Cochrane, a Bible study written by a woman who knew first-hand what it was to have an abortion. I stared at the book in my hands. God was there with me in that moment. He was stirring me to new possibilities, new hope. And just like that, it was the beginning of my healing and restoration.



Over the next months we worked faithfully together on the book. I discovered more about God than I had ever known. I grew to love Him with a greater fervency and, more importantly, to understand His indescribable love for me in new and profound ways. Once again, I longed for God and His Word in ways that I hadn't since I was first saved.


The second thing that happened, however,was that I began to understand that what I had been going though was grief - and that grief is a process. It's a unique journey for everyone. You and I can both be post-abortive, but the way that experience will manifest itself in our lives can be totally different. I believe that much of that has to do with the individual things (past sins/idols of our hearts) that God desires to clean up in us in order to move us to freedom. For me, all the ways my abortion had affected me and colored my thinking was a slow process of discovery. Like a creature with many tentacles, it had reached its ugliness into nearly every area of my life. It took time to untangle all that. Those were the places where only God's illuminating light could reach and, eventually, redeem.


If you're reading this and are post-abortive, let me just stop and say right here - He CAN and He WILL do this for you too! He delights to do this for you. Believe what the Scripture says. In Isaiah 61, verse 1 it says of the Lord's Servant (Christ Jesus Himself), "He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives, and freedom to prisoners." So are you broken-hearted today?  He will bind up and heal your broken heart. He will do it for you, just as He did for me, because it glorifies Him to bring to pass in your life the very things these verses in Isaiah say He came to do. 


However, maybe you don't think so - you don't feel you're broken-hearted. Is it possible you're in denial about it and instead are the prisoner He came to proclaim liberty to? Trust me - I know how it is to be a Christian and say that everything's okay. To actually think that it's unspiritual to say we need anything beyond our salvation in regard to our abortion. Or how about this one - to say that we've become caught up in psychology (psychobabble?) if we want healing? Yes, I know - and agree! - there is a lot of psychology mumble-jumble that has crept into the church today. I completely renounce that. 


God's healing, however, is not psychology. It's knowing and being able to apply His Word to our life, to the deep places of our heart. If we are to adhere to Paul's instructions in Ephesians 6:1 of being "strong in the Lord and the strength of His might," how do we do it but by really knowing His Word? The last piece of armor spoken of in this passage is the "Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God." While all of the armor is important to stand firm against the schemes of the devil (verse 11), it's the Word in particular that we use as a weapon. By being filled with the Word we will know the truth and be able to defend ourselves against lies. If you've had an abortion, Satan will use every tactic in his book to defeat you by reminding you of that fact. He will heap guilt and shame on you. He will tell you that you're not as good as other Christians - etc., etc.
 
So what do you say - is it possible you need healing? For example, do you tell yourself over and over to forget about your abortion? Do you experience physical or uncomfortable feelings when abortion is mentioned in public? Do you find yourself avoiding books, magazines, or TV programs that deal with the subject of abortion? While these are just a few, they're good questions that can help you get started in thinking about your own experience and need.


Anyway, once I began to sense myself really moving forward I also sensed God doing something else. It was time to tell my story publicly. You see, for some time I had been sharing the ministry of the center at various churches, but never really sharing anything personal. Now I knew the time had come - and I was a nervous wreck! What would people think of me? What if they rejected me? Judged me? Disliked me? Oh, how fear gripped me! I thank the Lord though that He told me to get up - to stop being beaten down with false shame. He had delivered me from shame and guilt because His work on the cross was complete. Did I doubt that? Finally, He reminded me He had called me to this. I memorized 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."


With a little trepidation I stepped up to the podium the first time to share the story of my abortion. It was a National Day of Prayer event and I had been invited to speak. I knew the time was right and as I told my experience I found I grew increasingly at ease with it. I had the peace of God. I also had the attention of the audience; all but one that is. She got up in the middle of my speech, stomped down the aisle, and slammed the door on the way out. Ouch! I don't know what her problem was but I remember thinking that she was probably post-abortive too!


There was still One More Thing that I needed to do to be completely healed but it came about four years later. The Board at the center where I worked had just decided that we needed to add a post-abortion ministry. There was a training seminar out west that spring and they thought I should go. I agreed but wanted a board member to go with me. They chose to grant my request and unanimously decided that our president, Caroline, should be the one. She smiled and said she would like that. The only problem was that she was having her own battle inside that none of us were aware of.


A short time later, probably within a week, she told me privately that she was also post-abortive; she had had two abortions during her college years. Wow, was I surprised! Her? She looked like a mature Christian woman who had it all together! Only then did I begin to realize that there is no "stereotypical" post-abortive woman. They come from all walks of life. Her problem though? After nearly twenty years of marriage her husband had no idea his wife had had any abortions! Do you see the secretiveness of it? The insidious way Satan uses it to keep us from true intimacy and transparency?


She knew she couldn't go until she had told him. Together we agreed to pray about it. Then one day the opportunity opened and she confessed what was long hidden away. It was absolutely wonderful! The grace he extended to her and the way he received it were a beginning to her healing. After she told him he replied, "I always felt like there was something between us, but now I know I have all of you."


Remember I said there was One More Thing? At the time I didn't know I needed it, but it came as Caroline and I went to the conference. We went through all the sessions, which were informative and exciting, and then came the final day. A memorial service. All week I had felt the Lord pressing on me. Besides being informative, the conference was also very emotional for most of us in that room. There were Kleenex boxes on each table for the attendees. For the first time, during that week, I had the distinct impression that the child I had aborted was a girl. God gave me a name - her name. Sylvana. I had never heard that name before, but I knew it belonged to my child, who was safe in the arms of Jesus. At the very end of the memorial service was a "Gathering of the Roses." Each person who so desired went silently forward to pick up a rose in memory of a child or children who had been aborted.


That was it. I needed closure and I got it that beautiful day. You should have seen Caroline and I guard those roses like mother hens on the flight home! We must have looked awfully funny to the other passengers.


Since that time she and I both have worked with a number of post-abortive women, going through that same Bible study I did sixteen years ago. It's been both a wonder and a privilege. We've seen so many miracles and incredible things that God has done.


So, what about you? What can you do if you've had an abortion and are hurting? The following things are some practical steps you may want to take right now:


1. Recognize and believe that God wants to heal you. Seek God in prayer; cry out to Him and don't be afraid. He already knows what's in your heart so there's no use hiding or holding back from Him. Then use a topical Bible - Nave's Complete Word Study Topical Bible is a great one - to do a study on God's healing. I don't believe it's always his plan to physically heal us, but I believe His Word is clear on spiritual healing. It's an aspect of His divine power granting to us all things pertaining to life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3), of being in Christ, and being a new creature (2 Cor. 5:17). Additionally, the concepts of restoration and redemption are great keys to further your understanding.


2. Consider confiding in someone you trust. I know this is really hard. Pray about it though. If you do decide to tell someone and you're a Christian, this should be a sister in the Lord. If you're married, please ask the Lord how and when to go about telling your spouse. You definitely want to show respect to your husband and not just "dump on him." Proceed carefully and only with wisdom from the Lord.

The person you do confide in should be committed to praying for you. This is the reason for your confiding in them. This can be tremendously encouraging - don't underestimate the power of prayer!


3. Find a post-abortion ministry in your area. Ramah International is a Biblically sound ministry with a list of local ministries across the U.S. and internationally. Their website is: http://ramahinternational.org/. Sydna Masse, president and founder of Ramah, has a book entitled, Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion, which is also an excellent resource.


4. If you can't join a group, you can go through a Bible study with a friend. This is just what I did with Barb. While there's a lot of benefit in getting together with other post-abortive women so that you can relate and share experiences, having one person who cares and is willing to invest the time with you can be wonderful as well.


5. Read Christian novels that contain realistic and encouraging themes related to abortion. Two that I highly recommend are: "Tilly" by Frank Peretti and The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers. Both use discretion and are tastefully done. Also, in addition to novels, there are many books that are the testimonies of women who have healed from abortion. These can be wonderfully uplifting as they describe God's faithfulness in others' lives.


I've listed just a few small steps you can take to get started. In future posts here I will hit on key issues of grieving and the post-abortive woman. As always, please feel free to contact me privately if you need someone to talk to. Email me at titus2homemaker@gmail.com.


"What a wonderful God we have - He is the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the source of every mercy, and the One who so wonderfully comforts us and strengthens us in our hardships and trials. And why does He do this? So that when others are troubled, needing our sympathy and encouragement, we can pass on to them this same help and comfort God has given us."  2 Cor. 1:3-4 TLB

Grace for Women Who've Had Abortions

Hi there! Check out my blog post over at Grace Roots about giving grace to women who've had abortions. http://graceroots.ning.com/profiles/blogs/grace-for-women-whove-had.

Part 3 of my abortion story will be coming up later this week here at Oil of His Grace.

Blessings on your week!

My Abortion Story, Part 2 - Forgiven

Last time I shared the first part of my abortion story with you. It would be a sad tale if it ended there - just doomed to shame and silence for the rest of my life. It's true that the healing would eventually come, but in the meantime, like other women who've had abortions I learned how to "move on." Over the years, through working in ministry, I've had the privilege of knowing quite a few post-abortive women. I daresay that most of us became expert at faking our way through anything. We knew how to put on a mask; to pretend like everything was okay. During my years of silence I spent a great deal of energy suppressing thoughts about the abortion. Instead, I chose to focus on having fun. Having fun was the way I dealt with my internal conflict. However, as I said before, God had other plans for me and so my first small breakthrough occured when I became a Christian...

The summer after I graduated I was fortunate enough to get a great job as a graphic artist. For the first time I felt I had some true independence. I was making good money, had just bought my first car - a sporty little Mazda RX7 in fact - and, although I had gotten back together with John, I had noticed with increasing confidence that men at work found me attractive. These were "real men" in my mind. Men with good jobs and who were responsible. At this time I was living what I thought was the ideal modern woman lifestyle. A respectable job, a career really, lots of friends, parties, a my-way-or-the-highway attitude...in short - a feminist. As I began to realize that I could have my choice of men, I also began dressing and acting in a way that would get attention. At work, and now also at bars (having been introduced to all the places that allowed underage drinkers), I was flaunting myself. John and I were on again/off again because I was always "exploring my options," as I liked to think in those days.

Two years into this I thought about going back to school. I had been taking some classes at our local junior college, but now I felt restless. I liked school and was really into photography (back before digital!), and so I decided I would pursue a bachelors degree in photojournalism. Around the same time, I got a new boss at work who had just come from management at the Chicago Tribune. By pulling some strings, she told me she might be able to get me a job there. "Perfect," I thought, "I can work at the Tribune and attend Columbia College."

Just a couple weeks after the conversation with my boss, I was offered a position at the newspaper. Now I really was going to make good money. I even reasoned that when I got my degree perhaps I could stay on at the Trib and work for them as a photojournalist. Like frosting on the cake, my new studio apartment I planned to rent in the Hyde Park area of Chicago was really cute too. John and I had ended it for good months earlier, and so now I felt free to do whatever I wanted. Feeling positive about my future, I put in my two weeks notice.

Looking back, I know that the Lord was orchestrating events in my life even before I knew Him. This was one of those times. The two weeks were ticking down and I was growing uneasy. I arrived at work on my last day to discover that my co-workers had planned a going-away party. I was really touched. It also made what I had to do that much more difficult. But it had to be done - I needed to find out if I could still keep my job.

I waited until my boss had a free moment and asked her if we could talk. I don't recall everything about the conversation but I do remember that she was shocked and disappointed. She had put in a good word for me and now I wasn't following through. However, after giving it some serious thought, by day's end she said I could stay if that's what I wanted.

I did want to stay, but truthfully, I'm not sure I knew why I wanted to stay. In hindsight I believe that the Lord ordered my steps during this time so that His purposes would be fulfilled. I had started to casually date a Jehovah's Witness from a different department at work and, of course, he was always rattling on about that. I was getting annoyed by it. At the same time, in my own department, there were a couple of people that I knew were Christians; both were really serious about God. Where before I might have avoided them, now for some reason I felt drawn.

Over the next month or two I bombarded them both with questions about God and the Bible. Finally, the older lady, Laura, asked me if I had a Bible. When I told her I didn't she surprised me by bringing me a new Bible the next day. She instructed me to start by reading John. Embarrassed, I had to ask her what she meant. She told me it was one of the Gospels - blank stare - in the New Testament - a laugh and look of apology - finally, the truth dawned on her and she understood. I was completely Bible illiterate. With great patience she opened the Book and gently took hold of the ribbon, found the Gospel of John, and placed the bookmark there.

From that time on I read the Bible like someone starved. Every waking moment I was glued to its pages. The more I read the more I was convinced that the two people in my department had the answer, and the guy I was dating did not. Sometimes in the break room they would end up debating each other and I would listen intently, soaking it all in. During those days I was getting a real lesson in defending the faith - I just didn't know it quite yet!

Sometime around Christmas I was watching Christian TV one evening after work. A man on there was giving a testimony and asking viewers if they would also like to receive Jesus as savior. That night I prayed along with him as he lead me in a simple prayer of trust and repentance. God had really been drawing me for months and now I wept with a sense of joy and peace. I could hardly wait to see Laura the next day and tell her the good news.

When she arrived I was already there - waiting at the door of our department. "Laura, Laura! I got saved!" I cried out. "Oh praise the Lord!" she responded enthusiastically. We jumped up and down and then embraced each other. I noticed a couple of on-lookers rolled their eyes and I overheard one of them mutter with disgust, "A couple of Jesus freaks."

As the weekend drew near I was anticipating having a whole Saturday to read the Bible and pray. When the day dawned I brewed a large pot of coffee. As I began to pray it seemed the Lord wanted to speak to me about some very specific things. I spent most of the day repenting of different sins as the Lord brought them to mind. Eventually He gently nudged me about the abortion. My heart broke! I hadn't thought about that in so long! In tears I agreed with Him and confessed that my own sinful decisions had brought me to the place of having an abortion. It was not my mom's fault. It wasn't John's or anyone else's. It was mine. I had been living selfishly and the fruit of that was that I had consented to a horrific act of violence against an innocent human being - my baby. This was the first time I really allowed myself to admit the truth. I had been carrying a baby, not just a "blob of tissue;" a convenient lie used by the abortion industry to sell their services, and one perpetuated by the women themselves to soothe their consciences. I had believed a lie in order to protect myself.

I repented and asked God to forgive me. I thought of all the people I had wronged through this one sin. I went on for some time - maybe an hour or two. In the end I felt relief and assurance of His forgiveness. I was just beginning to learn something of His faithfulness and righteousness to "forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9

I wish I could say that that's all it takes - just receive God's forgiveness and all will be well. It was a wonderful start to my healing; but it was just that, a start. I unknowingly thought there was nothing left to do. I didn't realize how great the "damage" really was. So I stuffed it again - this time under a Christian veneer.

In my next post I promise to get to the healing part! I had originally planned to do that in this one. However, I think the Lord wanted me to share my testimony because it's too easy as Christians to gloss over painful wounds just because we're saved now. That's in essence what I did. Yes, absolutely yes, there's healing and forgiveness in salvation. Receiving Christ is the most beautiful, wondrous thing that can ever happen to anyone. His work is all-sufficient; I don't want to diminish that. In fact, I want to glorify it and say that He came to give us freedom and truth. I know from personal experience, and from working as a leader in post-abortion Bible studies, that God wants to go much deeper and much more thoroughly than we can even imagine. When He does a healing work it's complete and whole; literally life-transforming. I've seen it happen time and again. Women are set free to become the woman God wants them to be! Next time I will show you how He brought that about in my life and give some practical first steps if you've experienced abortion and want healing.

If, however, you've had an abortion and need immediate help, please feel free to contact me. You may email me confidentially at titus2homemaker@gmail.com.

My Abortion Story, Part 1

"Can I see?" I asked. Emotionless the woman replied, "That's not our policy." So I put my head back down and continued to lie on the cold table while she performed an ultrasound on me. With my heart pounding and the palms of my hands sweating, I closed my eyes and wished I were anywhere else but this abortion clinic.

It had been almost a year since I had run away from home. Now seventeen, and just a few weeks away from graduating, I had returned to my mother's house only a month before - unknowingly pregnant with my boyfriend's child. When the morning sickness began my mother bought a home pregnancy test and told me that if it was positive she and my step dad would pay for an abortion. End of discussion. No consideration for what I wanted or how I felt. Of course, it didn't matter. I was willing to do whatever she said. I had told her when I came back that I would play by her rules now and so it was either obey or be kicked out. My only other alternative was to go back to my boyfriend, John, and I was too scared to do that. He had beat me up several times and it was the abuse that finally prompted me to call home, begging them to let me come back.

Now I just wanted this terrible ordeal over. Out in the waiting room sat my mother, along with my cousin, Paula. Seven years older than I, Paula had also had an abortion as a teenager and assured me it was no big deal. Right now though it felt like a big deal. I pushed aside thoughts of John and his mother sobbing over the phone when I told them I was scheduled for an abortion that Saturday morning. "Why should I care what they think?!?" I reasoned angrily. He was violent and she never did a thing to protect me from her son's wrath.

A short time later I was in the operating room. The doctor didn't even acknowledge me. I felt trapped - like I just wanted to get out of there. I'd never felt so alone in my life. In seconds the sound of the suction machine and the pain overwhelmed me. No one in that room offered any comfort. I was just a number in a long list of patients that day. Afterward, in a dark room where other women and girls were also recovering, I tried hard not to cry. I was almost successful but for a silent, stray tear that rolled down my cheek.

Later on that day I was at my cousin's house. She and her husband were having a cook out with their family and I was spending the night, as I often did when I was a teenager. I loved babysitting her two girls - I was close to them both and they were my pride and joy. However, that night I wasn't much in the mood for their girlish chatter and giggles. I sat in a lawn chair watching them play when suddenly I felt a pinching sensation in my abdomen. It really hurt. I decided to go to the bathroom. While I was in there I fell to the floor in excruciating pain. After lying there a few minutes, curled up in a ball and holding my stomach, I crawled onto the toilet and began to bleed. I bled and bled. In panic I thought I was going to die. I don't remember how long I stayed there. I think Paula checked on me some time later through the door, but I must have lied and told her I was fine. By the next morning, with most of the physical pain subsiding, I acted like everything was normal. She did too. We didn't discuss the abortion at all.

It's strange to think, but my mom and I never discussed it again either. It was taboo - for both of us. Like it never happened. The only time I talked about it with anyone was just once, about a week later. A girl I went to school with confided to me that she had just found out she was pregnant. After listening to her I advised her to have an abortion. I told her the same thing Paula had told me - that it was no big deal. Looking back, years later, this would haunt me. I don't know why I told her that. I knew, even then - before knowing the Lord, that it really was a big deal. That it was wrong.

Isn't it ironic that we live in a society that says abortion is perfectly fine - that it's a woman's "choice" - but then that same society teaches us to keep quiet about it when we've had one?  Some may argue that I'm wrong about this. "Who tells them to be quiet?" they ask. However, when was the last time you heard a woman talk freely and publicly about her abortion, telling everyone that it was a great decision? Granted, there are those who are spokespersons for the feminist movement who might go around saying that; but how about around the water cooler, the hair salon, or at church - do you ever hear ordinary women talking that way? 

For me it would be seven years before I spoke of it again. During that time I stuffed it, pretending that all was fine. As with everything though, God had other plans. He wanted to redeem this awful thing in my life and heal it. In my next post I'll share with you the rest of my story - the way God gave me "beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness... ." (Isaiah 61:3) I'll also give some practical steps you can take if you've had an abortion and are suffering. Please feel free to comment here and if you need to talk with someone, I'll be happy to get back to you right away.

Note: Names in my story have been changed to protect privacy.