A friend called me for my opinion. She had been to a special meeting and the speaker's son was an artist. Moseying around afterward, she noticed his artwork was on display and some was for sale. "This guy does a lot of pro-life artwork and I'm thinking about going back and getting this one painting he did," she explained. "I don't know though - I'm not sure I totally get the message of it." Understanding why she called me I said, "So tell me what it looked like."
Since 1998 I have worked in ministry with women who, like me, have had an abortion. Sadly, because of the shame and guilt that surround it, and subsequently the secretiveness, there are no hard statistics about the number of post-abortive evangelical women there are who've had abortions. However, educated guesses put it at about 40% of women who consider themselves to be born again. That's a lot of people. A lot of hurting people who, in terms of their abortion(s), have yet to learn about the grace, and healing, of God. And unfortunately, the church, the place where they should learn that, has largely perpetuated the problem by the way it tackles the issue of abortion.
"Well," she said, "In the picture there's this woman, and she's got a chain around her neck, that sort of looks like an umbilical cord. And at the end of the cord, on top of her head, is a baby that's red." For a moment I was a little stunned. Before I could say anything she added, "I think it's supposed to discourage women from having an abortion by warning them that this is what will happen if they do. Like it will be with them forever - forever in their mind." Yes, I could see that. They will be in bondage too, considering the chain image. Forming my words carefully I responded by saying that it's possible, even probable, that he intended it that way (as a warning to those considering abortion), but unfortunately, to a post-abortive woman it might contain a different message.
For her, this picture would seem to point the finger. The baby might be hers - reminding her of what she already knows well: She has committed the worst possible sin - killing her own child. Even if she has repented, she still feels the sting of condemnation. No, trust me, I tell her, she nevers forgets. For me personally, even though I have experienced God's amazing grace and wonderful healing in regards to my abortion, I can still empathize with what these unresolved women feel; I understand the scarlet letter (a big 'A' for abortion) they wear.
However, let's go back to the church a moment. Most evangelicals handle abortion much the same way. That is, they don't see past the immediate sin to a woman who is very much hurting. You would think, by observing some people in the church, that preventing abortion is equal to, or perhaps part of, the great commission. Bear with me here. I'm serious. We have Christians so into pro-life work that they forget who they are. They're not "pro-lifers" whose job it is to save babies - they're ambassadors for Christ (2 Cor. 5:18-20) whose job it is to beg others to be reconciled to God!
With so much focus on saving the baby - and trust me, I believe 100% in "saving babies" from abortion - do we forget the lonely, desperate woman, often uninformed, and not nearly so hard-hearted and calloused as often portrayed? Yes, I know - there will always be those who use abortion as a means of birth-control, or at least so it seems, but I submit to you that those women are far, far in the minority. I once worked with a woman in my post-abortion Bible study who had had eight abortions - yes eight! - and she was one of the most broken and wounded women I had ever met. Hard? Calloused? No way! In need of Jesus and his message of grace, healing, and reconciliation? Absolutely! And you know what? She found it - or rather, He found her! She got saved and was totally set free. She's a beautiful woman of God to this day - some twelve years later.
"Hmm, I think I'll just forget it," my friend decided at the end of our conversation. To her I say, "Thank you." Thank you for being sensitive. I understand and give the benefit of the doubt to our artist brother. He probably didn't mean to make anyone feel bad. But what about you friend? Have you been judgemental toward women who've had abortions? Do you know that there's grace for them too? More importantly, do you know that they need you to care now that it's too late to save their baby?
