Hi to all my friends and readers! I apologize for being "tardy" in writing the follow-up post to my last one. It is in the works and will be done soon. Unfortunately, this is truly the season to be busy for me. There's Christmas coming up and all that that entails; but there's also this new "season" in my personal life. If any of you have had a prodigal adult child you will be able to relate. It is extremely draining in every way: spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and even physically. That's why it's been hard to find the time to write. Something else always seems to take priority. Therefore, I do very much appreciate your patience and your prayers!
Briefly today I'd like to issue a challenge that may be timely for some. It certainly is for me! Anyway, what I propose is since we just finished a time of Thanksgiving, we now continue it by being thankful for our husbands. What this means practically is that I'd like you to consider going two weeks without complaining about your husband. This includes either complaining to him about what he has or hasn't done lately; or complaining about him behind his back to friends or family members.
But I don't want to stop there. The second part of my challenge is two-fold: 1) Every day, for the next two weeks, greet him sweetly when he comes home. Don't engage him in conversation the minute he walks in. He needs time to "change hats" and unwind. Instead just briefly show him how glad you are to see him. Then walk away. 2) Find a way to daily show respect to him in one of the three areas I will be expounding on in the weeks to come. These are acceptance, admiration, and appreciation. Don't worry if you don't know what these "look like" or how to show them. I'm going to give you some brief examples that should help you come up with ideas of your own.
Acceptance: This one may be more of a challenge than the other two because it involves the grace of overlooking. An example of this from my own life is when I don't feel like going jogging with my husband and I really wish he wouldn't go either! I'd rather he just stay home with me. However, I can show acceptance of him, as well as submission, by letting him go without complaint or comment. When he returns I have trained myself to cheerfully say, "Did you have a nice jog, honey?" Sometimes I even get a big, sweaty hug when I ask this - especially if he guessed that I would rather have had him stay home. Because I showed acceptance, instead of nagging or disapproval, I am rewarded. Our marriage is built up rather than torn down.
I challenge you to look for ways to be accepting in the next two weeks. However, let me add that with all three of these areas I also encourage you with something else I've already mentioned: Do or say whatever you intend, then walk away. Don't have expectations. Unless he grabs you for a hug or initiates further conversation, just walk away. Nine out of ten times he will be left looking after you and thinking, "Wow!" Your behavior may even spark fascination in him toward you.
But, be also warned. If your relationship has been cool or even cold for some time you may not see immediate results. In fact, it's even possible for you to receive a sarcastic comeback after expressing your acceptance. If that happens, shake it off! Remember the Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of dignity. (Proverbs 31:25) You could even choose to turn around and smile sweetly at him as you walk away.
Admiration: Sticking with the jogging theme I will tell you that I like to comment on how much endurance my husband has. After all, jogging six miles straight deserves some recognition, doesn't it?! I think it does so I'll say, "My, oh my - you sure are strong and have endurance!" Now I can say this because when I go with him I'm always starting and stopping the whole time - running, walking, then running again. But Aaron runs the entire way! And I really do admire him for it. Plus, when I tell him that he's strong I'm affirming that I think he's a real man.
Men love to be admired for their manhood. Squeeze your husband's muscle and look impressed. Say, "Ooh, strong!" You get the idea. Go for it! But remember - say it then walk away. Don't wait for a return compliment.
Appreciation: This one is fun. Although appreciation is so much more - we'll be getting into this later - you can start these next two weeks by simply saying "thanks."
"Thank you, honey, for picking up milk on your way home. I really needed it for supper tonight."
"Thanks for putting the dishes away. I appreciate it."
Or, on a deeper note, maybe it's been a long time since you've said, "I want you to know how thankful I am for how you provide for our family."
Saying these sort of things just lets him know that you appreciate him and don't take him for granted. If you try I'm sure you'll find many things you can thank him for. See him through new "eyes" these next couple weeks and you'll be surprised at what you've been missing!
So, is the challenge clear? Is it something you can do? With the Lord the answer to the second question is a resounding YES! Therefore, in a nutshell here it is again: Two weeks of no complaining about your husband. (Seriously, if you must complain - take it to God in prayer.)
Secondly, daily look for a way to show your husband respect in one of three ways: acceptance, admiration, or appreciation. Mix it up and be creative! Live intentionally for the next two weeks, but keep your expectations low. Above all, pray by asking God to give you insight into your husband so that you may bless him.
Please let me know if you decide to take this challenge. And if you do, when you're through will you consider sharing with others here how it went for you? We can all benefit from the encouragement of other sisters in the Lord!
Any other comments or suggestions are also welcome. I hope each of you has a good and Godly week!
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