Identifying & Overcoming Obstacles to Healing - Part 4: Deception & Divorce

Loophole (n.) - An unintentional characteristic of a law which allows one to circumvent the law's intention without actually breaking that law.


Since I've been talking about adultery for some time here, it begs a very important question: Does Scripture allow divorce in the case of adultery? I cannot deny that the short answer is 'yes.' There are, in fact, two "Biblical grounds" for divorce named in the Bible: 


1.) Sexual sin (the Greek word 'porneia' meaning "fornication, whoredom, idolatry"), as mentioned by Jesus in Matthew 19:9
2.) Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, spoken of by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16

For now we'll focus only on the first one. I can't stress how important it is to not run with this exception and think that Jesus was actually approving of divorce. Rather, we should take Matthew 19:9 in context of the passage and look at what He said just prior to this statement about sexual sin. Here's what verse 8 says,


"He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way." Matthew 19:8 


There are two things I believe we must pull from this verse. First, Moses "permitted." It does not say "excused" or "overlooked." It certainly does not mean that he permitted as in "was lenient with" either. No, instead we must acknowledge that Moses, as mediator between the people and God, had to constantly contend with sinful mankind and their "hardness of heart." Therefore, while it was God who instituted marriage, it was man who instituted divorce. 


Secondly, go back with me for a moment to the definition of "loophole." It refers to the law's intention. In the case of divorce, we need to understand that divorce was never God's intention or His best. "But from the beginning it has not been this way," our verse above says. And another: "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” (Matthew 19:6) We may say then that Jesus, rather than condoning it or putting His stamp of approval on it, was trying in this passage to reiterate to His listeners that God never meant for the covenant of marriage to be broken. (Interestingly enough it was the Pharisees, who Jesus strongly condemned for their spiritual hardness [Matthew 23:1-35], who were listening as He responded to a question about divorce). The reason for this is because marriage is more than just flowery words said in front of a group of witnesses. To borrow a phrase from our 21st century Christian culture - It's a GOD-THING! 


To summarize then, we must acknowledge that divorce is allowable, as regulated by Scripture. However, because God regulates it does not mean that He likes it. In fact, God used strong words in Malachi 2:16 to describe His feelings about divorce: " 'For I hate divorce,' says the LORD, the God of Israel, 'and him who covers his garment with wrong,' says the LORD of hosts. 'So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.' "


Therefore, don't be deceived - God hates divorce. He hates the sin that is involved even in Biblical divorce.

Marriage as a Covenant

Many people, myself included, when they entered into marriage viewed it as a type of contract. Since I'm into definitions today I'll give you the one for "contract" from a legal dictionary: "An agreement with specific terms between two or more persons or entities in which there is a promise to do something in return for a valuable benefit, known as consideration." Now that's about perfect for describing how a lot of people think about marriage! I promise to do certain things for you, but in return I also expect to receive certain things. 

Notice another thing - our definition says that a contract is an agreement between "two or more people." If I see marriage as merely a contract, then because it's only my spouse and I who promise to do something for each other, I will naturally conclude that our union is just between the two of us. By default this viewpoint excludes from the picture the very One who created marriage and can, therefore, heal and restore it. 


Take now, however, the idea that marriage is a covenant. We may ask, how is this perspective different from seeing it as merely a contract? What difference does it make? While a whole book could be written on this subject, let me state just a few things:


1.) Actually, the word "covenant" is used only once in the Bible in regards to marriage: "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant." (Malachi 2:14) The pattern for most Biblical covenants included and defined the duties and responsibilities each party was expected to perform. Therefore, in the context of these parameters, it makes sense that marriage is here referred to as a "covenant." Otherwise, how could God accuse this one of dealing "treacherously" against his wife - unless there was an understood set of duties he was to perform in relation to that wife, and had failed? 


2.) While a "contract marriage" is understood as being between two people, a "covenant marriage" is understood as being between three. We have no further to look than the Book of Genesis for this pattern to be demonstrated. Here we find God presenting Eve to Adam - a picture of the marriage ideal. Three are involved - husband, wife, and God. 

Additionally, another verse which furthers this notion of God giving a woman to her husband is Proverbs 19:14, "House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD." 


3.) Not only does the Bible begin with the scene of marriage, it ends with it, too. As stated previously, in the opening chapters of Genesis we see the marriage of Adam and Eve. In the Book of Revelation we see the marriage of Christ and His bride, the Church. Here, much like God presenting Eve to Adam, we have the Church as a gift of the Father to the Son. Together these two marriages form a picture of the story of redemption, so that the entire Bible seems to enfold itself around the beauty of the marriage covenant.


4.) In the culture of the ancient Jews, the marriage covenant had two parts - the betrothal and the actual completed marriage. During the betrothal, what we now call the engagement period, the bride was considered married but not yet taken to her husband's home. This is the stage of marriage the Church is currently in with relationship to Christ. The Apostle Paul stated, "For I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy; for I betrothed you to one husband, so that to Christ I might present you as a pure virgin." (2 Corinthians 11:2)


The consummation of the marriage took place later and denoted the Hebrew concept of "lifting up;" hence the custom of "lifting the veil," and carrying the bride across the threshold. For the Church, this "lifting up" will take place at the second coming of Christ. 


Think with me for a moment of the kind of words Jesus used in John 14:2-3: "In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, that where I am, there you may be also." These are most certainly marriage words!


Therefore, rightly understood, marriage between a man and woman is actually an earthly representation of the covenant between Christ and the Church. This idea of marriage as a covenant is the entire reason I told you in an earlier post that I cried out to God during my husband's adultery, "Lord, please save our marriage and our family! This is Your little family!" I entrusted to God the relationship He Himself had brought about. 

God is a Covenant-Keeping God

This brings me to my next point and will make everything I've shared applicable to our lives. Hopefully it will also give you some food for thought if you're currently struggling through this issue of divorce following adultery. 


So for starters I'll state that God is a covenant-keeper. Here are just a handful of verses for proof (there are many, many more!):


"Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." (Genesis 28:15)


"God is not a man, that He should lie, Nor a son of man, that He should repent; Has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?" (Numbers 23:19)


"Know therefore that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments." (Deuteronomy 7:9)


"Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass." (1 Thessalonians 5:24)


"If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself." (2 Timothy 2:13)


With these thoughts of God's faithfulness in mind, I will tell you that although I sometimes faltered in clinging to the Biblical understanding of marriage, ultimately I asked myself this question: Should I be looking for the "out," or looking to "stick it out?" This was an important question. It was tempting to want to take the "easy" way out. In my case the question was of particular significance because my husband's affair was an emotional affair. There was no physical, sexual sin to speak of. In order to Biblically justify divorcing my husband I really had to go in search of loopholes in the Matthew text. If you'll remember, the Greek word Jesus used there was "porneia." Could emotional adultery be included in the broader context of this word? 


For a short time I found myself pouring over Greek lexicons, commentaries, and articles addressing this issue. It was a tough thing to sort out. But then one day, it was like a brick to the head! I thought, Why am I doing this?! 


The simple fact remained: God is a covenant-keeper. Am I to be like the world - looking for the loopholes, trying to circumvent the law (in this case God's Law)? Or am I to be like God - who keeps His "end of the deal," even when we don't? 


Now, let me bring us back to the present. Dear sister, does being like God sound scary and difficult? That's because it is! It's never easy to follow Christ and He never promised it would be. Listen to what our Lord says in Luke 9:23, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me."


In a word, we need to seek the heart of God in this matter. When we do, we really cannot come to any conclusion other than this: While sometimes divorce may be Biblical, it is NEVER desirable! The road to healing our marriage may be hard, but then, the high road always is.

Is There Any Hope?

Let me state emphatically that just as divorce is not desirable, neither is it inevitable. God is able to bring your adulterous husband to repentance; and wherever there is genuine repentance there is hope. At that point, if both spouses are willing to do the hard work of reconciliation, the marriage has a chance to survive as each one submits to the Lord.


Unfortunately though, there are many obstacles that either or both parties in this situation may face. I've been discussing some of them here these last few weeks. To recap, I've mentioned three "D"s - disillusionment, discouragement, and deception. If entertained they can keep us from moving forward in that process. Not only that, but if any of these are allowed to run their natural course it's entirely possible they may actually propel an individual to file for divorce, bringing the reconciliation and healing of that couple to a grinding halt. 


Oftentimes, the reason the struggle with these things gets out of hand is because they are carefully hidden from others. They are kept secret. This is why we really need other believers, and especially the accountability we get from those relationships. This reminds me of how sad it is to be acquainted with a Christian couple in a troubled marriage who "appeared" to finally be moving in the right direction when, all of a sudden, we hear that they're actually divorcing.


Sadly, I know of one such couple. They stayed together for over a year after the husband's infidelity was discovered. They seemed to be working on their marriage, but apparently there were some deep issues that were not really dealt with. However, I believe beyond that, that the real bottom line wasn't the issues, but that they lacked true commitment. Just remember, issues can be dealt with. Couples can learn to relate to each other in new ways. Old hurts can give way to renewed love. Yes, all this can happen because of God. 

"Looking at them, Jesus said, 'With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.' " (Mark 10:27) 

So I submit that had this couple had the proper foundation of seeing their marriage as a covenant, their God as a covenant-keeping God, and their purpose as one of following His example, their story may have had a different outcome. And this brings me back full circle to the question I opened with: Does Scripture allow divorce in the case of adultery? I think we've seen that it does. At the same time, however, wouldn't it be just like the enemy of our soul to lead you or I, through the subtle power of deception, to forget that it's not God's best and we don't have to divorce? We do, in fact, have a choice; but so often Satan makes us think we don't!  


Friend, if you're facing your spouse's infidelity and thinking about divorce, please, proceed with much caution. Just because in your situation divorce may be Biblical, that does not make it desirable. I encourage you to seek God's heart in the matter. Also, be careful not to isolate yourself (when the enemy has the best opportunity of influencing you), but find a godly prayer partner, or several, who will keep confidences. Most important, be honest with them about your struggles and concerns. Keep in mind that Proverbs 11:14 says, "...but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety."


If you'd like to email me privately please feel free to contact me at titus2homemaker@gmail.com. I'd love to hear from you! May the Lord send out His light and His truth to each one this week!

Identifying & Overcoming Obstacles to Healing - Part 3: Deception & Adultery

Hi friend, glad you could come by for this Part 3 in the "Obstacles to Healing" series. I want to start by telling you that writing this post is hard because I have to be very transparent. My hope, however, is that in my being transparent I may be able to talk to you as a friend, as someone who's experienced the heartbreak of adultery, and who can share from the heart. 

Before I go on, however, I need to clarify for those who have just joined us beginning with this series, that in the last post on discouragement I talked about forgiving yourself, while I omitted discussion on forgiving your spouse or the other person. The reason for this is that I wrote a whole series of posts specifically dealing with forgiveness, beginning with the post entitled, "Dealing With Unforgiveness First" published on 9-5-10. The series continues for a total of nine consecutive posts with the last one added on 11-22-10. If you are struggling in this area please refer to those articles. Hopefully they will help you in dealing with this issue which, if left unresolved, will certainly be an obstacle to healing your marriage. With that said then, let's move on.

Danger Zone: Deception

Can I talk to you honestly and candidly today about the third "D" word? The word is "deception." Perhaps more than any other device of Satan, deception is a great threat to our marriage restoration. While the first two, disillusionment and discouragement, can lead us to despair and resignation; deception can lead us to have a false and insidious sense of hope, empowerment, entitlement, and restored self-respect.

Dear Sister - please keep reading this and listen! When the enemy whispers the things I'm going to share with you in your ear - Flee! Run! Submit to God and resist the devil! (James 4:7) If you remember nothing else, remember that our enemy is called "The father of lies" by Jesus in John 8:44. This means that he cannot tell the truth. So when he comes with his lies telling you that if you'll just do this, or just do that, you'll be much happier - don't believe him!! I've never felt so strongly before about what I'm going to share in this and the next post. Let me humbly say that I believe it is straight from the Lord to someone who really needs to hear it.

Now, I'm sure I could discuss many ways Satan tries to deceive us after being betrayed by our spouse; however, there are just two that I'm going to focus on in these next couple posts. And because they're both vitally important I will only be looking at one at a time. As I do, I will get into various aspects of them, talk about their deceptiveness, and then discuss what God's truth is instead. This way I may cover them thoroughly as I believe the Lord would have me do. 

Adultery Becomes Enticing

So let's begin with the first tactic of Satan. This is when the enemy introduces another man - an available man - into our thoughts and lives in either a subtle or overt way. What I mean will become clear in a minute as I tell you how the former happened to me, and what the "spiritual atmosphere" was like that led to it.

Oh friend! How I just want to cry in shame when I think back and remember certain things. How after the dust had settled on my discovery of Aaron's affair, I began to be ambivalent in regards to my course of action and who I wanted to listen to. On the one hand, I just wanted God. I wanted Him more than anything! My spirit and soul cried out, "Oh God! You are my refuge, My portion in the land of the living!" (Psalm 142:5) I was convinced that He was truly all I wanted or needed. To a large degree that was probably true.

But my flesh... well, my flesh was my flesh and it wanted something else! Had you asked me at that time if I had a problem with carnal thinking I probably would have denied it. I doubt I would have seen it because I truly was seeking God. With all my heart! However, what I was blind to was that in reality, I had become double-minded. While I was praying, seeking the Lord, and immersing myself in the Bible, a plan of a different sort was hatching in my mind.

A back-up plan I suppose you could call it. It went like this: If this doesn't work out, I know several good, single Christian men; any of whom might be a future possibility. It gave me a sense of hope. Over the course of the next couple weeks I thought carefully about each one of them and finally narrowed it down to two. Oh how hard this is for me to admit! How humbling to tell you that I was unfaithful in my mind.

Now, I would not say that I "fantasized" about them. At least not in the sense we usually associate with fantasizing. But I did do a lot of thinking about them - their personalities, jobs, walks with the Lord. I tried to determine whether or not they would be good stepfathers to my children. I compared them against each other. Worst of all, I compared them to my husband! I bet you can guess who came out on the bottom of the chart at that particular time?!

So, you see, Satan's deception can be oh-so-subtle. It can be justified. I believe at one point I felt a bit of conviction over what I was doing, but I also remember rationalizing it by thinking that it was good to be planning for the future - "just in case..." I'm so thankful to God, however, that this foolish thinking didn't last long. He eventually brought me back to my senses and to repentance. I hope you will understand what I'm striving to show you and not be even remotely tempted to entertain such evil. But be on the alert, for our enemy is a sneaky deceiver. This has been the way of Satan toward the saints throughout history. Dear sister, remember - When he cannot walk through the front door for reason that we would recognize him, he sneaks in through the back!

So then, consider me to be pleading with you to change your course if you're at all contemplating or dwelling on other men. Don't believe for one minute that because you are surrounded by a hundred available men, or even just one who smoothly comes across your path, somehow this must be from the Lord. God did not, and indeed would not, bring some man into your life so that in case your marriage doesn't work out, you'll have a new love interest. Consider with me James 1:13b, "God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone." No, as a married woman, if a new man comes into your life, or an old acquaintance suddenly becomes intriguing to you, this is not of God but of the devil! Those thoughts you're entertaining originated with the enemy and are being carried out by your old nature: "But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust." (James 1:14)

Look at what the apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, which constantly struggled with sin in its midst: "But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ." Paul did not write these words to warn unbelievers, but rather believers! This means that you and I can be deceived by Satan.

Secondly, I know I've quoted this verse before, but think of what the Scriptures exhort us to do in Proverbs 4:23: "Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life." If I were to use the Inductive Bible study method for this verse I would probably note several key words, including the words "all" and "diligence." From this I would conclude that the writer of Proverbs (Solomon) meant that the phrase "to the greatest extent or quantity possible" ought to describe my degree of diligence. The next thing I would conclude is that by using the word "diligence" he wished to convey the idea of "conscientiousness in paying proper attention to a task." And what would that task be to which he was referring? That's right, watching or guarding my heart. To apply this verse to my life then, I would want to use the greatest extent of conscientiousness to check the meditations and thoughts of my heart. Then I would need to be alert to whether they line up with God's Word or not.

Had I done this honestly and applied the Biblical truth of Proverbs 4:23 I don't think these thoughts would have gotten very far. I would have realized that Jesus said, "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. (Matthew 15:19, emphasis mine) Another interesting thing when I look back is how I kept these thoughts to myself. I didn't share them with my prayer partners. This desire to keep them "secret" should have been a big clue about the wrong direction my thought life was going.

Now, in switching gears, I will not say as much regarding a more blatant way Satan tries to trip us up; however, I do need to mention it. I know of at least one couple whose marriage ended because the betrayed spouse figured they would give the other person a taste of their own medicine. I can't tell you strongly enough - this is a really bad idea! It is straight from the pit of hell and is a lie. You will only be heaping shame and guilt on yourself and adding to your marital problems. There is truth in the old saying, "Two wrongs don't make a right." In addition, please remember that the adulterer suffers as much as the betrayed. The consequences they endure may not be apparent in the beginning, but will become more so as time goes on - especially during the reconciliation process. Don't add the pain of this to yourself as well.

Now, from what I can see, the three main reasons betrayed spouses may be tempted to commit adultery themselves are:
1) To get revenge
2) To attempt to make their spouse jealous (possibly with the hope that this will make him/her "come back" to them)
3) To prop up their own battered self-respect and feel empowered

A husband or wife who has been betrayed may do this for any of these reasons, or a combination of them. With all my heart, let me say that God's Word is contrary to every single one. To begin with, how does the Scripture say we should overcome evil? If you're a Christian you know: "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:21) So that means we are to put off thoughts of revenge, and put on the love and kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ - who loved us while we were yet sinners. (Romans 5:8) You'll have the greatest chance of winning your erring spouse when you pour out goodness into their life, rather than bitterness and revenge. You may overcome their evil with your good!

And need I say anything about whether God will approve of us sinning to teach someone a lesson, or for any other reason? Planning to be unfaithful to our spouse falls into the category of what the Bible calls "presumptuous sin." It is premeditated. Look with me at what David prayed regarding this: "Keep back Your servant from presumptuous sins; Let them not rule over me." (Psalm 19:13) Friend, when you allow yourself to go down this road you are no longer free in Christ. You are in bondage to sin and have placed yourself under its rule and authority.

As for your self-respect I would encourage you to look to our Lord, who made you in His image. If you know Jesus as your Lord and Savior you are a blood-bought child of the King! You are the righteousness of God in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:21) I really could go on and on, and I would love to, but time prevents me. Therefore, I encourage you to do it by really getting into the Scriptures to discover your identity in Christ. And even then you'll only begin to grasp just a tiny bit! "Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9) God does not want you to look to other people to make you feel good about yourself; rather He wants you to be content in your relationship with Him. When you do that, everything else will fall into place.

In closing, I can't tell you how much I've been praying for readers of this blog. You've been on my heart. It's also been a rough ride here lately. Not between my husband and I, but with another family member. Honestly I started this post on the 9th, and here it is the 14th. I've thought that perhaps Satan was trying to prevent me from finishing it since all kinds of stuff keeps happening. But praise God that He's with me and with you. As Christians we'll never be closer to Him than we are right now - because He lives inside us! Let me leave you then with a favorite verse of mine that is fitting for such times:

"Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy: when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the LORD shall be a light unto me." Micah 7:8

P.S. - It's very late and I'm going to post now but edit tomorrow. Sorry for any mistakes or weird grammar!

She Smiles at the Future

"Strength and dignity are her clothing,
         And she smiles at the future."
Proverbs 31: 25




Everyday I pray that the Lord would clothe me with strength and dignity, and help me to smile at the future. Sometimes I give very little thought to what the phrase, "She smiles at the future" really means. This morning, however, it struck me as I was praying it. I decided that I truly did have a reason to smile. I realized that despite the difficult and trying circumstances Aaron and I are in because of a certain family member, the Lord gives me many things to smile about. It does not matter that the future of this situation is uncertain and I don't know how it will turn out, the Lord is still the same and nothing can separate me from His love. (Romans 8:38)

Anyway, as this revelation came over me while praying Proverbs 31:25, I cried out, "Lord, I can smile at the future because of Your grace and Your love, because You have cast my sins as far as the east is from the west; just because of who You are. You are my Father and I am Your child. You are all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-wise. Jesus, You are the Creator of Heaven and Earth, yet my Savior and Friend. I can smile, Lord, because I know that Your tender mercies are renewed day by day..." I prayed like this for some time. By the time I was done I was feeling about ten pounds lighter and ready to tackle my day.

Friend, can I encourage you today to consider that you, too, can smile at the future? Pray to God as I did; but do so by first going to God's Word and looking up all you can about who He is. Then, as you pray, list His attributes and recite His promises. Write them down. Once I challenged myself to write down ten things about God each day for two weeks and it was such a blessing! I'm sure it would be to you as well.

Please forgive me for being late in posting the next "D" in my Obstacles to Healing series. We really are going through a hard time right now and I would covet your prayers. I do hope to post yet this week though. Until next time then, may God's presence be with you!

Becoming Christ-Like Through Suffering

"Though the fig tree should not blossom
      And there be no fruit on the vines,
 Though the yield of the olive should fail
      And the fields produce no food,
 Though the flock should be cut off from the fold
      And there be no cattle in the stalls,

 Yet I will exult in the LORD,
      I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.

 The Lord GOD is my strength,
      And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
     And makes me walk on my high places."

Habakkuk 3:17-19

There is something I wanted to share with you that the Lord has kept bringing me back to these last few days. It sort of goes along with the entire reason I started this blog: Dealing with suffering. The verses above are some of my favorite in the entire Bible that specifically address this issue of suffering. I absolutely love the conclusion the prophet comes to in this passage. Listen again to his passionate declaration of faith:

"Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation.
The Lord GOD is my strength,
And He has made my feet like hinds’ feet,
And makes me walk on my high places."

Now, while it's true that our "old man" and our flesh cringe at the thought of suffering; yet our new man, which has been created in the likeness of God (Ephesians 4:24), views it rightfully, in the light of Christ's suffering. In the Spirit we realize that our suffering can never equal the amount of His suffering. Furthermore, our new nature rejoices that we may be a partaker with Him in suffering. So the question for you and me is this: Which "man" will we listen to?

Before you answer that question though, consider this verse which I want to highlight here:

 "Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." (Hebrews 5:8)

Amazing! This verse tells us that Jesus "learned" to be obedient through His suffering. If the perfect Son of God had to learn obedience in this manner, how much more do frail and weak humans need this training method?

Once we get a hold of this we'll see God's mercy in our suffering. For it is such times that we find opportunity to walk in Christ's footsteps; an opportunity to crucify our flesh, take up our cross, and follow Him. Let me state emphatically that the entire Bible, as well as the testimony of believers down through the ages to the very present, tell us that those times in which we are put to the test and challenged to take the high road, can encourage the growth and maturation of our character like no other. This is why the Lord's brother exhorts us, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-4) 

In the passage from Hebrews 5 (above) verse 9 follows and gives us further encouragement. "And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation." Now, while Jesus obeyed perfectly, we will not due to our weaknesses. However, we do have the hope of becoming more like Christ as we obey and surrender our lives to Him in increasing measure; and as we do the hard things He asks of us in the face of difficulties. Remember, He is the author and perfecter of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2) As the "writer" of our lives, then, He allows challenges to come our way which will cause us to grow and become moldable, much the way a writer works to develop and shape the characters in his book. God does all this in order to bring about the things which are pleasing in His sight. (Hebrews 13:21) 

Finally, continuing on in verse 9, we see that Jesus was made perfect and thus became the source of eternal life. So perfect was His obedience that He did not fail to obey when he had to endure the worst suffering possible - death on a cross. Let's really consider this! Being crucified was a horrific way to die and indicative of the cruelty of the Romans. Truly, throughout history, it has been one of the most awful forms of execution known to man. But Jesus was no ordinary man! The rest of Hebrews 12:2 tells us this: "...(Jesus) who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." His obedience through suffering led to His joy, which was in making a way to the Father for others; for even now He sits at God's right hand making intercession for us.  (Romans 8:34) 

So then, we wonder - of what value is our obedience? Let me say, friend, that it's of significant value! You see, verse 9 tells us that He who obeyed perfectly became the source of eternal life to those who, in turn, obey Him. So when you or I obey from the heart, through the hardest trials, the most grueling times, we are a shining light. Others are watching, to see what we will do and how we will respond. They want to know: Will we be faithful to the Word, or will we desert our God and go the way of the world? Friend, when you or I take up our cross and follow Him, though the way be hard and we be ridiculed, laughed at, or spit upon, the world does see. It does take notice. And for those lost souls whose hearts the Father has prepared - while we ourselves are not the source of eternal life - we may, through our testimony, lead them to the One who is.

In closing, remember that I said above, "Those times in which we are put to the test and challenged to take the high road, can encourage the growth and maturation of our character like no other?" I used the word "can" for a reason. That is because some of us, for various reasons, will choose not to do what God's Word says in difficult times. These reasons may include: listening to and following our feelings or the advice of other people, wanting our rights, misunderstanding or misapplying Scripture, waiting for another person to do what's right first, and on and on it goes. Trust me, I know. I have certainly been there and have had all the excuses. I have even blamed PMS! So then, I'd like to share a quote that I hope you'll really think about: 

We all know people who have been made much meaner and more irritable and more intolerable to live with by suffering: it is not right to say that all suffering perfects. It only perfects one type of person ...... the one who accepts the call of God in Christ Jesus. -Oswald Chambers

I ask myself, therefore, will I accept the call of God in Christ Jesus? Will you, dear sister? I don't know what your trial is, but I do know that the reward of obedience is infinite! Who knows but that you or I may have the blessed experience of leading another soul to Christ because they see something different in us.

Next time I will be writing about the third "D" in my series on obstacles to healing. I'm really excited about the last two because they will really zero in on very specific issues related to healing from adultery. I hope to post tomorrow or Monday. God bless your day!